Summary #1

Although I haven't been very good at keeping a steady blog, over the past few weeks I have been thinking quite a bit about leisure. I've definetely come to some realizations. When I think about how I used to spend my time, I'm almost amazed that I ever got anything done. Up until a couple of years ago, I played a lot of sports, and went to acting school. My weeks were full with regular school, acting school, hockey practices, and games and tournaments, hockey camps and the list goes on...Not to mention I also played ringuette, soccer and was in competitive swimming, among other things! When I began those activities I tuly enjoyed each one of them and was intrinsically motivated to do them. However, as the years wore on and the competition increased, I began to feel more pressure and soon the activities I had onced loved became more and more like chores. Also, with school becoming more intense, I began to face constraints that were making it difficult for me to handle everything on my plate. When I made the decision to quit hockey, it wasn't so a much a decision that I would never return, just that I needed a break to focus on other things. However, about 4 years have passed, and...I'm still on that "break". After I quit hockey, which I had played for about 10 years, quitting everything else just seemed to follow. Suddenly I didn't always have a place to be, or a team that relied on me, and I think at first I was a little confused and maybe even lost. I had a lot more time to spend with friends, and watch TV, and go out, things I obviously had experienced, but it now seemed that I had an abundance of time to do them. I think that if I were still in that transition phase and writing this blog, I probably wouldn't be able to really say what I considered leisurely. However, now that time has passed, I have reorganized my priorities and I have seemingly found new sources for leisure.
These days I really feel as though, for me, leisure is all in my state of mind. My life is still filled with activities, and I do still face constraints, however they have changed. Since I don't play any team sports, I am under a lot less pressure to do things for other people, and almost all activities that I do are intinsically motivated. I have no obligations to "show up" to a game or practice, and I can make decisions about where I go, at what time, and so on. Mostly, I spend any "down time" I have with friends. Between work and school that sometimes pose as constraints, I don't always get to see my friends as often as I'd like, but even when I am alone, doing nothing, if I am relaxed, then I consider it leisure. Although going to work can often feel more like a burden than fun, I love the people I work with and will often find myself having a good time. I work at American Apparel, in the stock room, and for me, not having to deal with any whiny customers is a huge bonus. Although I'm at work, I'm also technically "hanging out" with my fellow stockees, whom I now consider more like friends than just plain co-workers. Obviously, if I had the choice between being at work or being on a mountain snowboarding with friends, I would choose the latter, but I really appreciate the fact that I have a job that I can experience leisure at.
As I said, all activities that I pursue now are intrinsically motivated, and although on occasion I have found myself going out places that I would not have chosen, if I am with the people I love, I usually end up having a great time. I am enjoying this type of leisure, and although I do still miss having a team to play for, I like the feeling that I can sort of control what I consider leisurely just with my state of mind...
Over the years my definition of leisure has changed and as time progresses, it will likely change again, however, I am able to say that at this point in my life I place less value on filling my life with scheduled leisure and I just roll with whatever comes my way. For me, I place the value on quality and not so much on quantity anymore.